4th

TIME

Many people enter our lives, some stay, some leave, some are merely timeless, aren’t they?

There was a girl who felt the same way about people in her life. She had a personality that attracted many. Her laughter garnered numerous wandering eyes towards her. Her eyes sparkled bright enough never to let anyone see the darkness beneath. Her smile was wide enough that people could not hear her silent cry for help. Many wanted to claim her and spoke highly of her, some claiming she was the living embodiment of a temptress. But none of it mattered to her. Because he still stayed in her heart. No one could see through her lies like he did.  There was always a lingering thought of Him. It is said that you never truly forget your first love. I think that’s where the ideology of True Loves Curse originates. 

Love, what a heavy word, isn’t it ? Do you ever wonder what true love is supposed to feel like? Is it supposed to feel safe like the way your mother makes you feel or afraid the way her husband makes her feel. Maybe it could mean different for everyone, depending how relationships around them looked like when they were growing up. It is said that you get attracted to traits of the person you wish you could have become or the traits of the person who could have saved you back then. Many questions like those went around in her head after he left.

There was a time where she spent several months thinking of him and wondering if it was all a dream. Whether choosing between him and her goals necessary? Maybe she could have gone for both; well, it is too late to second guess now. She never understood what was so special about him. They never gave each other labels of commitment, but there was not a moment where they were alone without having each other in their thoughts. 

She often recalls the time she thought she would never fall in love. But of course, that is until he came in. She had never felt that free with anyone before. How he promised her everything the day he would make it big. How he never questioned why she never expressed her feelings like he did. How he brought her flowers every time, they met, even if it meant being drenched in heavy rains and walking for ages. How he gave up his jacket even though he was freezing himself, just like in the movies she grew up watching. How he did everything, she had promised to never fall for. 

She remembers how their lips crashed into each other, perfectly molding together. How their bodies recognized each different rhythm without trying, how he caged her in between his arms and with his eyes. How predatory his dominance was and how it still made her feel safe. The way he knew how to work around each part of her being like he is an artist working on his art, his true obsession. The way they drowned in each other’s essence every time as if they were walking miles in the desert only to quench their thirst through each other. The way he caressed her cheeks when she hugged him while slowly dozing off to the sound of his heartbeat. The way he walked close to her on a crowded street shielding her from unwanted gazes. The times when his eyes filled with worry as if her pain was his.  The way he was willing to accept her even when she never promised a future together. 

She could never forget how his body towered over her when they stood. How glorious he looked when he wore his signature black leather jacket or how he adjusted his glasses while reading his comics. The way his eyes sparked only for her in a room full of beauty. The time he begged her for not letting him go. But, how could she ever forget that her young self, chose her goals over him. They could never be one as it was simply not their time. She had promised herself to become the strongest women who never needed a man.

Years after, she is still searching for a smile like his. Looking for eyes that see right through her façade. Seeking for the man who will understand her insecurities and not give up.  Someone who understands she never grew up with good masculine figures in her life. That it had permanently shielded her from giving in to any man ever again, to ever have hope that not all of them are monsters. She waits for the next time her heart beats for love.

It must be true that meeting the right people but at the wrong time makes all the difference? If that is so, she waits for the right time with the right person and finally making the right choice this time. 

After all, it is all a matter of Time… right? She will just have to believe…….

-Penned by DesiG

-Header Art created by Izat Bibi : @bollymeme – Instagram