6th

LIFE

I have always believed in living in the moment…. because you never know that this moment might be your last.

I was never a bright kid, never achieved those shiny trophies or those pristine certificates. I was always busy making memories and goofing around in my youth. Something inside me told me to live, to live as much as I can and so I did.

I did many odd jobs to save up some extra money and started my own business at the age of twenty. I worked hard to make a big name for myself. But I didn’t forget to love my family during those times. The coming years many objected me for doing things early in age or for not waiting for the right time. They said I took too many risks. But the voice in my head told me to keep going and so I did. Many investments failed and many succeeded and I was making it big. 

Eventually I also found the love of my life during a business trip. She was beautiful and I was caught like a deer in headlights. I had to have her and so I did. The moments with my wife were pure bliss, it was like I had found my true soul mate. Her hands fit perfectly in mine and her scent was blissful. I love the way her hair brushes against my face every time we embrace, how fragile she looks when I take in every part of her being, like she would break anytime. How soft her skin felt against mine, how her hunger for me looked so primitive. How she submitted her entire self every night on a single command of mine but also, how she was a fierce independent entrepreneur during the day.  How the whole world claimed our love wouldn’t last as it was based on our youth talking to us. But the taunts never came in our way.

We soon decided to have kids, she was ready for it and so was I. Soon we were blessed with a beautiful pair of twins and I was the happiest man on this planet. Time passed by like this for a few years until one day I woke up sweaty from my sleep. It was like I couldn’t breath for hours and my body was struggling. I didn’t pay much mind to it and went through the day. The pain had not subsided even after a week, so I decided to pay a visit to the doctors.

Have you ever felt those moments where time stood still and suddenly the room went dead ……silent?

That’s what it felt like when the doctor looked at me with those eyes of his. The eyes that held so many emotions that I could not pick one or those lips that moved to utter the horrifying words that came next … “I am sorry, but you have terminal cancer”. That’s all it took for me to get up and walk out the door. I walked till the sun set and the darkness consumed me. I didn’t realize I had walked all the way home. Home to my wife and kids, home to the people who I loved so much that I feared to tell them the news. Feared to accept the news myself.

My beauty and youth deteriorated right in front of my eyes. I became slower and my will became weaker. My wife looked at me with the same love in her eyes, but I didn’t miss the glimmer of helplessness in her tone. It is said that god calls his best creations back to him the earliest. But I had no complains. I had lived a life full of love, success and emotion although I did have somethings yet to achieve. Dreams to grow old with my wife. Dreams to see my children graduate and find their own soul mates. Dreams that they will have to achieve without me now.

I held onto my will power and kept walking the battle until one night I dreamt of my wife with slightly greyer hair, my sons all grown up to be tall men with two beauties by their side, their wives I assume, how my business has been passed on to them and how beautifully they have lived on. This dream felt so much like reality. It was like I was being shown a snippet of all the years I won’t live to see, and it made me happy. It is going to be exactly the way I thought my life would be. I think now I can finally relax at my front deck looking at another beautiful sunset, this dream was beautiful.

I started drifting away towards the voice, the voice who helped me throughout my life the little voice who told me to live to the fullest and take those risks. Maybe it did that out of fear because it knew all along that we will come to an end soon. Somewhere deep down I knew this as well that’s why I didn’t want to ever wait for the things I wanted and went for it.

I closed my eyes one last time with a smile etched on my face with the hope that my dreams will come true, that my life lived was worth it and that I had given enough good memories to hold on to for my loved ones. I had made my mark…..

“This is it, its time. Let’s go now” the little voice told me. It seems it was time to leave and so I did.

-Penned by: DesiG

-Header art by @Bruneljohnson on Unsplash